Who would have thought these tough times would turn Glenn Beck into a common internet style escort? The worlds favorite neo-conservative dough-ball of tears and hate is selling himself on Ebay! First the comedy tour and now this! What’s the deal? Is he hard up for cash? Busy trying to fill the void that is a Rush Limbaugh-free NYC? (Has that actually happened yet? Or did Rush dash our dreams again? Just like his first stint in rehab) What me and three friends would DO to Glenn…it would be amazing…and mostly illegal…perhaps not in CA but certainly in Georgia…but we’d be here in NY where most demeaning degrading things are fairly legal. Also Mr. Beck, I’ve seen the Grand Canyon…and there is NO way watching you do your radio show is as “awesome”. Also Mr. Beck…please don’t talk about your “Canyon”…I have to suppress the urge to puke every time I see your face…the thought of your ‘canyon’ nearly sends me into a seizure. Omg…I just made myself a little sick. Now that’s talent! The SUPER good news is that the money goes to an ACTUAL charity! It’s going to CANCER research! And not some super conservative we-hate-the-gays-because-we-secretly-are hypocritical organization! So bid away my friends with money and bring a barf bag if you win…or don’t…I’d love to hear what projectile vomit sounds like over the radio…
Glenn Beck really is an amazing American. So amazing that it’s not enough to have a TV show with millions of viewers…sorry…I need a moment…typing that made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. Phew. Ok. So it’s not enough to have the TV show-he needs to take this shit on the road! And come to YOU, America! That’s right! He’s taking his “humor” on the road. Now, I don’t claim to be an avid viewer but I have seen the show a few times. When it wasn’t making me furious and spitting mad, I did laugh a few times but only when Glenn cried. That’s right…the only thing that makes me laugh are the tears of pale doughy neo-conservative freak shows who are too busy digging a deep hole of hypocrisy (but I actually just type hypocrazy and REALLY like that word now…even though it’s not a real word) to realize that they are a laughing stock. I can’t WAIT to hear what his jokes are going to be!
Fascinating article about the legalization movement that I’m sure commenter Cliff wrote, researched and pimped himself. (although he’s not mentioned in the actually article once I’m SURE everyone who’s mentioned in the article uses Cliff’s site exclusively). In all seriousness, the movement has come a long way if even Glenn Beck is calling for the country to legalize it! Take a peep and celebrate 420 which, for the record, is a national and not international holiday.
And it was only a matter of time before someone WENT THERE…so they are…they’re working up a show called “Someone’s Gotta Go!” The premise? Well, naturally it is a reality show about companies in trouble who have to lay employees off…the twist? The sick Fox twist? (Because even just watching people ACTUALLY lose their jobs isn’t sick and twisted enough…) The twist is that the employees (other cast members) will be voting people off a la survivor…’cause watching people fight for survival in the wild has apparently gotten too stale for America’s TV palate. Kudos Fox…way to take, what for some is, the most painful and humiliating moment in their professional lives and exploit it for some Ad time. Just when I think you’ve found rock bottom with shows like Wife Swap you manage to find a new low. But I’d like to take a moment to do something I never thought I’d do…Thank you FOX…you just reminded me that my layoff could have been a LOT worse…it could have been televised! I could have been publicly humiliated! I could have been VOTED off rather than just let go. Oh-the other awesome news is that it’s maybe going to be international! Because other countries can’t get enough of seeing Americans act like assholes!
Maybe they can make the employees cage fight before hand so we’ll be one step closer to the Running Man TV show. I hope Glenn Beck hosts…and wears a cape…he’d be perfect for it…especially with the fake crying at the end about how much he fucking loves America. How was he EVER on CNN.