DC just won YET ANOTHER top honor! My home town is also home to the top cocaine and alcohol abusers! WEEEEEEEE! Not surprising considering our former mayor. Also, am I the only one who felt like the entire city went in the closet when Bush took power? Overnight suddenly weed was out, blow was in, and everyone was suddenly ‘straight’…at least in public. Sad times. I’m just surprised peeps can afford blow on those government salaries…I guess the cost of living is a little less than it is here in DC. When I was doing time in our Nation’s Capitol, there was plenty of partying going on but I didn’t dare to dream we were number one in the country! In probably related news, we are also crushing in the AIDs/HIV catagory and 3rd in Mary Jane. Good times. GO CHOCOLATE CITY!
So this is pretty much impossible for me to wrap my wee little brain around but apparently peeps down at Wake Forest University have developed a technology that will allow people to grow their own organs. I have been praying and begging for this technology ever since I reached legal drinking age-I will be able to regrow my own liver! YES!
So I think this also portends the end of days, apocalypse, etc because I just don’t think people will be able to handle living forever…but I could be wrong…but 2012 is soon…think on it…maybe just the introduction of the technology will cause the fall. I mean, how much does it cost? What’s to stop everyone from just growing a spare set of everything? If you’re in a car accident, you don’t know what you’re going to need. Anyhoo, interesting stuff.
Also interesting to note, O kind of screwed the reduced your calories-you’re going to live forever-benjamin button style people by talking about the diet first (which no one wants to do because you pretty much eat twigs and berries) and THEN the organ growing story (which everyone wants to do because all you have to do is give them some cells!)
I would have to say that I regularly order exactly what I want to drink. I’ve been having ‘tastes’ of beer since I was three and ‘samples’ of other liquors from about the same age on. I’m not saying I haven’t sinned like this in the past-ordering the sugary, the sweet, the fancypants when all I really wanted was my grandma juice (gin!)-but ever since I tried Cisco Red…otherwise known as crossing over to the dark side in alcoholic speak (if you know what Cisco Red tastes like, you probably have a drinking problem)…call it clarity, call it the point of no return, but tasting that vile drink brought an unbridaled honesty to my drink ordering. Once you’ve gone to hell and back, you don’t waste time with pretention and wondering what other people think. Also, drinks in Manhattan are so freaking expensive you might as well be buying a house. You’re allowed to take your time and really figure out what you want because you’re spending more on one drink than you would in a whole evening in DE.
For those of you in NYC, Project 405 is hosting a party next week:
Not exactly sure how I feel about mixing and mingling with career counselors and recruiters while I’m drinking in my flip-flops but we’ll see how it goes. It will get me out of the house, right?
The kids at the New Yorker have made a charming list of (insert your favorite title for the catagory five financial shit storm we’re weathering) drinks. I’ve had Trickle-Down Punch before…maybe even last night:
Let last drops of liquor trickle from spent bottles at recycling center into plastic cup. Serve with shame.
Now THIS is a useful skill to have during these tough times. I come from bootleggers and moonshiners so I know that when the tough times hit, it’s time to hit the bottle…and sometimes you can’t afford to hit other people’s bottles so you need to make your own…even if it gives you jakewalk ( Jake Walk) or could kill you. Here’s a how-to WITH VIDEO of how to make your own Vodka!
Next stop on the Bad News Bus, apparently there is a new labor trend where people who used to work in management and professional fields have taken “survival jobs” as janitors and UPS delivery men after being laid off. Aces!
I’ve noticed that the job requirements for even lowly Admin jobs (always a decent fall back in tough times) here in NYC have jumped from “four year degree preferred” to four year degree and above mandatory”. It’s troubling but the idea of working at a Verizon store is even more depressing…but liquor store…now that’s a place I could see myself…maybe slowly working my way up the liquor ladder to management…and maybe…just maybe…after years of hard work and building up an excellent reputation, I could get into liquor distribution! I’m not even kidding when I say that liquor distributor has always been one my dream jobs. I really don’t’ know anything about it except that everyone I know who’s been a ‘liquor distributor’ has been rich as Croesus. I’d like to bite me off a piece of that action. And, let’s be honest, liquor is something I kind of know a little bit about. Along with my JD, I pretty much got a PhD in sauce (and I ain’t talkin’ BBQ). Speaking of, I think there’s snow falling so it’s time for me to get my blizzard on.
Mark Penn looks at this trend as it pertains to the professional fields and it’s even more depressing. At one point he actually instructs the reader to look at the homeless and imagine their lawyers there…Yay! Happy Monday.