Sad Panda is back…and apparently doing photo ops but the tourists were more interested in the Bull’s blue balls. Sad Panda was also spotted on the 1 train at 86th Street in what seems to have been the most awkward train moment ever…which is saying something since a lot of shit goes down the train-por ejemplo-I celebrated a subway anniversary of sorts on May 5th…my 10th peen on the train! Believe me when I say it’s an anniversary I could have done without. And the hour and half I’m not getting back after waiting for the cops…who still haven’t called me back to ‘complete the file’. Also, why do guys assume that if Brad Pitt was flashing on the subway that ladies wouldn’t mind? Creepy unwanted peen on the subway is always creepy unwanted peen…no matter what the rest of the package looks like. If a flasher looked like Brad Pitt it wouldn’t make the experience any less creepy or criminal. It’s like finding out Megan Fox has crotch rot…Please stop making flashing and other sexual assaults a ‘hot-or-not’ crime. (per comments section of this post on Deadspin)
Anyhoo, the Sad Panda succeeded in bringing everyone on the train down a few fun notches. How can you not be sad when you see the Sad Panda? What does the panda have to be happy about? Raging unemployment? Belonging to a species that is near extinction because of deforestation and pollution? The fact that the white parts of his suit require constant care and cleaning? That Bloomberg is about to start charging $0.05 for each plastic bag he’s so fond of carrying? Do Sad Panda a favor and go downtown, grab some Pho, and get your picture taken with him. Let him know he’s fabulous and the world needs him.