Here’s a how to for the worm that’s set to attack millions of computers tomorrow.
After celebrating some of the cleanest, sexiest, most stylish desks the country has to offer on Apartment Therapy, Gizmodo has posted some of the most disgusting. Pookie, if you’re reading, take a snapshot and send it in! I feel like I’m really flirting with the bottom of the barrel in many different subjects this week…dirty desks, Yonkers Raceway, the internet with a search for colonoscopy bags…I need a moment…ok I’m back. So enjoy these disasters.
This weekend I return to my alma matre…Drew University…where there was a ‘rapist’ last weekend…not really. Someone was touched on the thigh…when I went there, I would have killed for that kind of action. Anyhoo, two most excellent friends are getting married there this weekend and, like idiots, they have carved out a special time for ANYONE to speak and/or ‘express’ themselves as part of the wedding ceremony. This is what I plan on performing:
Just incase you forgot, tomorrow is April Fools. Martha had some seriously sad April Fools Pranks but these are a little more adult…I mean not dirty…just for someone above a 2nd grade reading level…
I’m not trying to post everything from the Foggy Monocle but this one is kind on point. I’m really not sure how this could even come to pass…maybe at a law firm? Law firms are the only groups I can imagine being so cruel as to fire someone and then invite them to a cocktail hour…law firms tend to do the ‘slow close’ where as almost every industry let’s security escort you out of the building. With the ‘slow close’ you get officially fired and then have some amount of time where you can play office but aren’t actually working for the firm at all. It is the strangest practice to me…some people pretend for a bit like they aren’t fired…some people take advantage of the career help and free internet. I just find it ironic and strange that law offices would allow ex-employees to come back in, be near confidential files, and basically have free reign and do whatever the hell they want. Good times. Anyhoo, this Gentleman really makes a proper exit. I’ve drunk my severance at almost every office I’ve ever worked at and I highly recommend it. Go out and get yours. This Gent did and it sounds epic.
DC is laughing in the face of the Second Great Depression and basking in the soft glow of lobbyist cash bonfires and building a wall to protect it from the third world poverty that the rest of the country is suffering through. Ah my hometown. DC is in a strange place right now. Typically, every administration changes the flavor of the city. With Clinton, parties raged on, weed was popular and everything was cool and laid back. With Bush, coke became all the rage, prepsters were back on top and Georgetown and dock shoes were all the rage. Now with Obama, the city seems a little lost…there’s tons of cash flying around because everyone is trying to bend the President’s ear and everyone is looking for a job in the new administration and government. As the daughter of a government employee, I can tell you, YES…the benefits are AWESOME. And countless Americans are finally realizing that working for Uncle Sam and living in a city that’s WAY cheaper than NY or San Fran is not at all a bad thing. So where other cities have businesses shutting down and bars and restaurants begging for customers, it makes sense that a new douchebag magnet like this one would be opening up. Let’s all drink “Bailouts” and laugh at the rest of the country! Speaking of, I’ll be checking this place out on April 17th. A bar ain’t open until I’ve knocked one back there. Yes…I’m that “big” in DC. Or at least I seem to think so.
Whether you’re thinking about going back to school or you’ve already taken the plunge, this is an EXCELLENT list of resources. There’s a calculator to help you figure out how much going back to school is going to cost you and provide information on different types of loans and there are tons of other sites to help everyone who already owes hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yay!
In all seriousness, there are tons of laid off lawyers and other professionals who borrowed a TON of money to go to grad school and now have NO means of paying it back. Unlike almost all other loans, student loans don’t die with you and survive bankruptcy. Basically, they suck…big time.