PIMP! This should have been a summer blockbuster

19 06 2009

But instead John Cusack is dusting off his sympathetic “dude just like you” chops from “Say Anything” to try and pull off “Dude just like you running from the ground breaking apart, gigantic fire balls, a wall of water so large even sweet Buddhist monks in the Himalayas can’t escape it, with my kids!”  While it’s totally obvious that this guy also directed The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day, he’s the perfect call for this flick. Who better to direct a movie that requires fire, water, explosions, Presidential addresses to the hysterical public, and everything else that comes with a movie of mass destruction?!?  He’s been there, done that, and now he’s back to do it again with more helicopters, more fire, more explosions, and a huge government built ark.  (Question/Rant: in films of this nature…why is it that all the government built stuff is AMAZING?  It’s all shiny and pretty and the most advanced technology and it’s so much cooler than anything anyone else has ever seen.  I get that the government is supposed to be the only group with enough money to be able to foot the bill for a ‘back-up ark’ just incase a huge wall of water decides to flood the US-but seriously-what would that Senate vote be like???  “The Republicans are willing to pass the bill and approve spending for the Ark but only if it’s built in Utah and powered by rice and apples.” Or what Bill O’Reilly would have to say about it-”The drive by media won’t report on this story so I’m gonna have to.  The government is building a giant ark for the heathens left behind during the Rapture.  You, my gentle Christian viewer, are clearly bound for the promise land…so why should your taxes have to pay for this cruise ship for atheists and abortion doctors?”  But here’s the other thing…I grew up in DC…have you seen those buildings?  Anytime the government commissions anyone to do anything it looks like shit, leaks, and costs more to maintain than it did to build. In short, you should really weigh your options before you get on a government build travel craft of any sort…except in one of these movies where they are always AWESOME! These better be space arks. That would also allow for a sequel!)  All kidding aside, I love this shit and I will totally be there on opening day.  The only question left for me is do I go for the IMAX or keep it real in Brooklyn.  IMAX here in New York is ruined by the experience of having to wait 3 hours with a bunch of other obnoxious New Yorkers and bearing witness to every sort of movie etiquette fail and typical shitty New York banter. There’s the typical seat saving bullshit and line-cutting hullabaloo but what really kills me is arguing with my friends about what time to get there. Let’s just say I’ve watched three IMAX films in the front row and I’m rolling Pirates code from here on out. I love my friends…but not enough to get hosed at IMAX again. The whole IMAX thing ends up not being worth it…unless you’ve packed some pills for the wait.  I think the way to go is to see it at Court Street here in Brooklyn where audience participation is guaranteed.  You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a movie at Court Street. Court Street has everything from people talking loud on their cell phones for the last 20 minutes of Kill Bill 2, smoking weed in the back of a Tuesday 2pm showing of Shrek 2, to little kids opting to sit with you and beg popcorn and reeses off you because their parents were too cheap to hire a sitter OR buy food. Opening weekend for Dark Knight, they had to stop the movie and check ticket stubs because over 70% of the people seated in the theater did not have tickets for the movie playing.  Court Street never ceases to amaze and neither will this movie!

io9 – Roland Emmerich Gives Good Apocalypse Porn In New 2012 Trailer – 2012.





It’s like the Bachelor except they are fatties

18 06 2009

Leave it to Fox to create a Bachelor type show for people with more “American” figures.  (All I can hear in my head is Buffalo Bill saying “Was she a great big fat person?”)  The ladies on these shows are usual a big pack of hot mess so it shouldn’t surprise me that they are taking it to the next level with same grade of pathetic and a couple extra lbs.  Naturally, there will be a makeover element (Ladies!  We love our makeovers!  Sparkles!) and the dude is a bit of a chubby chubby-chaser to keep things interesting…because teevee audiences LOVE watching fat people get it on.  Stay tuned for the drinking game.  This is NOT a show for sober eyes.

More To Love | Dlisted.





REAL Dream job

18 06 2009

Learning how to MAKE WINE!  This kid knows everything there is to know about drinking it…so learning to make it would be AMAZING.  Unfortch, the deadline is TOMORROW!  Damn thee, fates!  I’ll never get anything together in time. Maybe my parents can help me throw something together tomorrow on our rapid fire tour of Red Hook.  This job really is so cool.  $10,000 a month PLUS accomodations for SIX MONTHS.  I’m such an assclown for just finding out about this.  Check out the videos and submit your own.

A Really Goode Job.





Yankee Stadium Pub Crawl

16 06 2009

Here’s an excellent guide to drinking your way around Yankee Stadium…if you prefer a guide to stumbling around and following the mob.  Yanks tickets are super cheap right now.  You can get Field Tickets for $39!  I haven’t seen the new stadium and am a Nationals fan but won’t be able to stomach these games…no matter how much I drink before, during, and after.  But you totally should.  From what I remember of these bars, they tend to showcase a lot of hawtness (see the gent in the picture) and the local flavor is nasty.  If you’re looking for bars with fine gents and classy ladies, these are not the bars for you.  If you enjoy talking to angry pompous Yankees fans who stare at your tits while they insult your team and spit stale beer in your face, you’ve hit the jackpot!  I’m also fairly certain I’ve seen the dude in the picture above wearing that exact same outfit in 105 degree summer heat.  Apparently a hoodie under a flannel paired with sweatpants is a look for all seasons on the “other” River Avenue.  So go get your drink on dive bar style and hit a game on the cheap.

Gridskipper: River Avenue Bar Crawl.

Cheap Yankees Tickets





Free Subscription to Time Out

15 06 2009

No catch-free subscription!

Survey – Time Out New York.





Seeing as how I just bought 3 yards too much fabric at Ikea…

15 06 2009

This is the next project on my to-do list.  Hopefully it really doesn’t take long at all to do…as promised on the website…so it will only take an hour rather than an entire afternoon.  This should also be a good warm up to my two sewing projects…I haven’t sewed since high school when I had to sew the hems on my uniform.  That went fine…but I’m a wee bit nervous about these projects.  I’ll keep you posted.

Apartment Therapy Re-Nest | How To: Make Napkin Rings From a Cardboard Tube.





SO COOL! But not on the market yet :(

15 06 2009

New technology has created roof tiles that are solar panels!  Previously, the only way to get solar energy to a private residence was to install HUGE and expensive solar panels which were also HUGELY unsightly.  Now you can replace your roof tiles with them!  Well, not quite “now”…but hopefully soon.

Inhabitat » Researchers Unveil Flexible Solar Cell Roof Shingles.





Horribly wrong? or just about time?

14 06 2009

This video blew my mind…there’s so much about it that’s wrong that shines like a blinding light through all the bullshit and crap on Youtube.  First, she can’t sing to save her life.  Now, that alone doesn’t distinguish her from the millions of other people out there posting on youtube.  Apparently thinking you have talent, lacking it, and wanting to share it via online videos is something so special that it transcends cultural and global boundaries.  Second, she’s clearly preggers.  Now THAT is DIFFERENT!  She’s not just a little pregnant…she’s REALLY pregnant…like she’s going to be a mom soon.  In a perfect world, this video would prompt Madonna to call…not to offer her a music deal of any sort-but to adopt her baby and save it from this strange and twisted fate.  If you don’t agree, watch her video for “Hips Don’t Lie” and hollar at me.  Also, the “Catch me Now” video shows off her crazy eyes to the greatest advantage.  According to her bio, she got married at 17, has three kids and has written TWO books.  I think I need to shut up and get more productive!  If this lady can write two books by the age of 24, I really need to shut my mouth and get to typing.  Although, as the subway has taught me, the crazies always have a LOT to say…and they say it super forcefully.  Thanks Youtube for once again reminding me that crazy comes in all different colors, all different shapes and sizes, and all different ways.

And thanks to Dlisted for making AMANDAH (Yes…that’s AmandaH) the Hot Slut of the Day.  No one has ever worn the illustrious crown more deservingly.  Also, hollar at me if you know any pregnant strippers.   I have a friend with a bit of a fetish.  I don’t judge, I just book the entertainment and a man only turns 30 once, right?  There has to be such a thing, right?  There’s clearly a market for it…

And “Kadoos” to Amandah for managing to make a Rihanna song even more upsetting and creepy than after the world found out that Chris Brown was beating the shit out of her.

http://dlisted.com/node/32509





I could have told you that…totes. DC FTW!

9 06 2009

DC just won YET ANOTHER top honor!  My home town is also home to the top cocaine and alcohol abusers!  WEEEEEEEE!  Not surprising considering our former mayor.  Also, am I the only one who felt like the entire city went in the closet when Bush took power?  Overnight suddenly weed was out, blow was in, and everyone was suddenly ‘straight’…at least in public.  Sad times.  I’m just surprised peeps can afford blow on those government salaries…I guess the cost of living is a little less than it is here in DC.  When I was doing time in our Nation’s Capitol, there was plenty of partying going on but I didn’t dare to dream we were number one in the country!  In probably related news, we are also crushing in the AIDs/HIV catagory and 3rd in Mary Jane.  Good times.  GO CHOCOLATE CITY!

D.C. residents rank as top cocaine, alcohol abusers | Washington Examiner.





To Do This Summer: Road Trip with Beer?

9 06 2009

Maybe not a trip to bring the kids along for…and perhaps not the best idea to combine drinking and driving BUT here’s a great list of Brew Pubs from Santa Barbara to Humboldt County in CA!  Cute little story about two dudes who used to road trip back in the day.  I’m heading out to the left coast this summer and can’t wait to take in some of the coast.  If you haven’t driven 101 and spent the night on a beach in Big Sur, add it to your Bucket List.  There aren’t words to describe how beautiful that area is.  The best part is everyone can enjoy it-even if you can’t get out and hike-which you should if you can-you can still enjoy quite a bit of from the car and scenic stops along the way.  I was so amazed by the vistas that I missed the brew pubs!  I can’t wait to mark up my map and take to the road again.  Unlike the Brooklynite in the article, I have my drivers license…totes…although I wouldn’t mind letting someone else take the wheel so I can enjoy my libations.

Brew pubs along coastal California: a beer-drinking road trip – Travel – LATimes.com.








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